First, let me apologize for taking almost two months to post. (I should really work on that! I’ll add it to my list of things.🙄) I’m sure many of you are making assumptions based on the title of the post and that’s okay, you just might be right. 🙃 In my last post, I was very vulnerable and very upfront about the events that had taken place in my life. I will keep that same momentum for this post. (You’ve been warned! 😜) A lot has changed in two months and I have still been soul searching and falling in love with myself. And I will continue to do that from now on.
In my last post I was very adamant about two things. 1. The best thing that Chase ever did for me was to leave. 2. I don’t believe in second chances.
Well, not very much from that last post has changed. I, 100%, still believe that the best thing Chase ever did for me was leave me. We were in a rut. We were struggling to even fake a smile anymore. We were prideful and neither wanted to admit faults leading up to the “blow out.” We were in the pits and we were unhappy. (Side note: I’m not saying that leaving is the answer because I believe you should fight for love no matter what.) The day he left I learned of strength I never knew I had. Through the chaos I was able to find myself again and that is something that is so important. Even through the pain I was able to better myself and I am grateful for that. So that part hasn’t changed at all. I still stand by that statement and always will. I am a better woman for having gone through it.
What has changed is my belief that second chances shouldn’t exist. At the end of July, I was seeing someone else and desperately trying to move on. (No judgement – Chase had been seeing other people too!) I was ignoring all of Chase’s efforts to reconcile. I wasn’t interested. Or so I pretended. Deep down I had questions and hoped that one day I could get to a point where I was ready to pursue a reconciliation. Despite everything, two facts remained; I loved him. And Chase felt like home to me. From the day I met him he gave home a whole new meaning. Not like 4 walls and a door, but 2 eyes, open arms and a heart beat. No matter how hard I tried to fight it or how much I tried to outrun it, my soul got tired of running from those facts. There have been so many instances and so many occasions over the last few months that showed me how serious Chase is about making us work and just how much he has changed. So with that said, I believe him and my soul can rest! I’m home. 💜 No more fighting it, just fighting for us.
Marriage is hard and sometimes when pride gets in the way, it’s harder than it should be. We have both learned so much in the last few months, but the main things are: 1. God has to be at the center of us. 2. There is no one else in this world for the either of us. We were meant to be. 3. TRUE LOVE FORGIVES. (But true love isn’t stupid – I believe in second chances now! Not third, fourth and fifth chances. 😂😜)
On a serious note – as we start this journey, we know it will be hard and we are prepared for that! We ask for your prayers. Between the love we have for each other, church, counseling, swallowing our pride even when it’s uncomfortable and the best friends & family – we will make it. Here’s to our new life and embracing every struggle as a team. Love always wins!!! 💝
Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope. – Maya Angelou